Over at MMSL blog there was a recent post called “Can your wife be your best friend?”. I’ll answer that question simply… No you should not make your wife your best friend. But it’s more complicated than that. Since the two of you will be spending many years together, like good friends, you should have common interests, goals, ideals and such but there is a hidden trap that many married couples fall into.
That trap is the friend zone… Women keep trying to get their man to be one of their girlfriends with a cock and men want their wives to be a friend with boobs. But it can;t be sustain like that for a long time. Of course after a long day at work you’ll come home, have a glass of wine with your wife and unwind. Maybe watch some TV, put the kids to bed and if you on top of a good romp in the bed. Unfortunately, what happens in many marriages is that husband and wife become “best friends” at the exclusion of same sex friends. I know this all too well because that’s what happened to me and almost caused a divorce. (I should say there were multiple things but that was a big one.)
I don’t know where I started learning this but I was a typical nice guy growing up. My mother was the dominant one in the house, my father a beta orbiting nice guy. I guess I assumed that if treated women like my best friend, I could friend them into a relationship. It worked a couple of times but I always ended up breaking up with them. The few times I had a long term relationship with a woman, I definitely was the Alpha guy with male friends in my life and she was just icing on my life. I can’t believe I didn’t learn this lesson until I was 48. Taking the Red Pill is bitter but self awareness is much better than never quite figuring out what is wrong in your life.
The women in your life don’t want to be burdened by your problems. They want you to have a plan and if you need to go talk to someone about it go to a counselor or hang out with your guy friends. Same with her. You cannot be that guy that will sit there for hour on end listening to every little thing she wants to talk about her friends, coworkers, family, kids or whatever. I’m not say that you shouldn’t talk about things like that but really it should be kept short and sweet. I give you permission to cut her off after about 15 minutes unless there is a death in the family or something like that. Anything beyond that and she should be talking to her friends. Same with you.
So to sum up. Don’t let your wife become your best friend and vice versa. You both need save the major belly aching for friends of the same sex.